Nov
07
2017

I Am A Woman

So What?
Suthukazi Arosi | I Am A Woman - So What?

When I'm quiet, millions of things run through my mind. When I stare at you, I wonder why I love you so much, in spite of being taken for granted. I am like salt. My presence is never remembered, but my absence makes all things tasteless...

 

I AM A WOMAN, So what?

I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me. I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet. I should have been patient. I should apologise to him.

I get into an argument with a man, I slap him. They tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologise to him. Because I am a woman, I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality.....

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him". I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.

He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company "Hmmmm.... she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money".

And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.
 

Because I am a woman,

I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me. I am tagged a generous leg opener, who must have stepped up the ladder by means of the straps of her brassiere. They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am - because I am a woman.

When a man loses his wife and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he's being praised and congratulated for moving on - after all life is for the living. Once a woman loses her husband and remarries after 4 years: "aaah! so early?", "Are you sure she wasn't sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive?". "That was why she killed her husband. She's a witch!" -  Because she's a woman.

I AM A WOMAN, So what?

When I am quiet, millions of things are running through my mind. When I stare at you, I am wondering why I love you so much in spite of being taken for granted. When I say I will stand by you, I will stand by you like a solid rock.

I am a Mum. I'm a Wife. I'm a Daughter. I'm a Daughter-in-law. I'm an Alarm clock. I'm a Cook. I'm a Maid. I'm a Teacher. I'm a Waitress. I'm a Nanny. I'm a Nurse. I'm a Handy-woman. I'm a Security officer. I'm a Counsellor. I'm a Comforter. I don't get holidays. I don't get sick leave. I don't get a day off. I work through day and night. I'm on call all hours and get paid with a sentence. I am like salt. My presence is never remembered, but my absence makes all the things tasteless...

I AM A MAN, So What?

This is a man’s world. Bible tells me I felt lonely at one point in time, so God took one of my ribs and created Woman. To accompany me. Bible furthermore tells me that men and women should become ‘one flesh’ in an everlasting bond before God. 

It’s like the rib never left my body. It’s like the rib never left its cage - waiting to be found.


On average I have more physical strength than you, but less endurance. Less patience. So when I lash out against you, this is not a sign of strength, but of weakness. It’s my immaturity. Please, will you forgive me…

Whenever you slap me - which is rare - it is never without reason. I admit it isn’t the pleasantest of things, but I can take a slap in the face. In order to understand your feelings I have to understand my own; which is obviously not my forte. 

While you were playing with your dolls as a little girl - emulating the intricacies of human sociology - I was out in the woods with my buddies playing 'cowboys and indians'.

In never cheat on you with another woman, unless she is more beautiful than you…Ouch, that hurts!.. Which make me wonder. Why would I cheat on you in the first place? You give me all I need. Hmm, I have to think about this…

I am tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented and successful, indeed. Thank you! So what's your problem?.. 

Ah, you want that too! Well, my dear, you can’t have both. Career and kids don’t blend well. So you want me to raise the kids? Uh, I can hardly manage myself. But you are wonderful, hardworking, focused and successful too! Well, at least to me. Doesn’t that suffice? Nature isn’t fair. Only God is.

You are not only my rib, you are my backbone - for I lack one, most of times. I couldn’t do without you. That’s why I have to remarry if - God forbid - you pass on before me. On average though women grow older than men. So in the case I pass on before you - and for what it is worth: you have my blessing…

You are my wife and the mother of my kids. You are a very generous person. What do you mean - no holidays? We have two each year and when you get sick, I hire a nurse. Isn't that enough? 

A Security Officer? A Counsellor and a Comforter? What is that all about? I don’t understand. Sure we need salt, without it everything tastes a little bland.
 

I AM A MAN, So What?

This is a man’s world but it would be nothing without a woman or a girl. This is a man’s world but I would be nothing without you. I love you…